Once you’ve decided to stop drinking, one of the struggles you may face in sobriety is what to tell friends and family about your new lifestyle.
You would expect people close to you to be supportive of you giving up alcohol. But in some cases, they may not be receptive to your new choices.
If you haven’t had serious external consequences of your drinking, people may not realise that your alcohol problem is serious. You may have gone to great lengths to hide it and minimise it. They may not understand how alcohol problems work, and that having one drink can lead to chaos for some people.
If people constantly downplay the seriousness of your problem, then explain to them how your drinking problem has made you feel. And how being sober makes you feel too. People can’t argue with your genuine feelings.
Why Do Friends Want You To Drink?
One of the reasons that people close to you may downplay your problem is that they fear losing you as a friend, whether one to drink with or not. People don’t like change and they don’t like feeling like they’re being left behind.
If friends of yours used to be drinking buddies, your new sobriety may leave them in the uncomfortable place where they have to look at themselves and their own drinking – and they may not want to.
If tries to persuade you to have just one, ask them why it is so important to them that you have a drink. They are unlikely to have a real reason, but anything that they do come up with, try to reassure them with your answers while not backing down.
So, if they’re worried that you won’t spend time with them any more, arrange for you two to do something together soon – something really cool and fun that doesn’t involve drinking.
How To Say NO To Alcohol
If you think you’ll struggle with saying no to your friends, remember the negative things about your drinking and the wonderful positive things that you have gained from sobriety.
Prepare a mini speech that you can rehearse and learn to say assertively and confidently to anyone in your life who tries to get you off the wagon. Don’t argue, over-justify, or be self-righteous; just state your reasons honestly and calmly.
If people still don’t want to listen, accept that there may always be challenges in this area. You can’t change other people, but you can be committed to doing the best for you – no matter what anyone says.
Don’t let their attitudes hold you back from improving your own life – that is something that you must commit to whether you will be accepted for that or not.
