Addiction is a label that is now linked to many patterns of excess. We talk of sugar addiction, shopping addiction, sex addiction, internet addiction, and more. So how do you know if you’re really addicted to something?
There are addiction symptoms that are not present in heavy use. By its very definition, addiction means that you find it extremely hard to moderate your use. You may face uncontrollable cravings and engage in behaviours that heavy users do not.
For example, I used to smoke weed as a kid. By my late teens, I smoked about 15 joints a day. But cannabis ended up making me paranoid, so I decided to stop. I was able to quit cold turkey with no treatment. I didn’t like giving it up, and I missed it, but it was a choice I had made.
Not so with alcohol – I became a serious alcoholic and needed a lot of support and a sea-change in thinking to quit drinking and stay quit. I tried to stop drinking numerous times, only to return to the bottle over and over again, with each binge getting worse.
The difference? I was quite happy with my 15 joints a day – I never felt the need to increase my usage any further, and never behaved like an ‘addict’ around it. I didn’t lie to myself or justify my use. I didn’t stockpile it – if I ran out, it was a bummer but I didn’t panic.
Eventually, the cons of smoking cannabis outweighed the pros, and while I missed it a bit, I never obsessed about it, and any cravings were minor. When I quit regularly smoking weed, afterwards I could have the occasional joint without desperately wanting more. I ended up not even bothering, as it wasn’t worth the paranoia symptoms.
Alcohol was, for me, completely different. I acted like an addict with alcohol. I always wanted more. My life consisted of thinking about it all the time, planning around it. Sneaking extra drinks, lying about my use, hiding it, plagued by irritability if I couldn’t have it. Deluded by my own thinking.
Despite the fact that the consequences of my drinking were far more serious than those of my cannabis use, it didn’t matter. I still couldn’t stop, even when I desperately wanted to. I saw everything I loved torn apart by alcohol, but that couldn’t counter my desperate need for it.
That is the difference. I was not a cannabis addict. I was a heavy cannabis smoker. I could have a joint, then take it or leave it. But I am, and remain, an alcohol addict. If I have a drink, I risk setting myself up for an uncontrollable binge and slipping into all the other behaviours that are symptoms of addiction.
