Recovery from setbacks in life, be it addiction, divorce, illness, bereavement, redundancy or anything else that leaves you somewhere different to where you thought you'd be, is not about waiting for things to get better.

In some cases, it is important to just let yourself heal, but there is a point at which you have to take control to make recovery happen.

You can't just wait around forever waiting for the recovery bus to come and drive you off to a wonderful new life.

I was once told that time would sort things out, but I don't believe that any more. Yes, time lessens pain, but time and waiting around doesn't get you where you want to go. In fact, it can leave you wondering if things will ever change and complaining bitterly because things are not working out.

You can't just wait around at a bus stop, never getting on the bus and expect to end up where you want to be. And recovery is the same.

Life is not just going to get better if you don't take any real steps toward recovery. And even while you're waiting for the pain to lessen, it's worth thinking about where you might want to go and what you will need to get there.

It's OK to hang around for a little while, looking at the bus timetable, deciding where you want to go and which bus will take you there quicker. After all you don't want to get on the wrong bus and end up in some dead-end town.

But once you've done a little waiting, a little thinking, a little planning, get on the bus!