Now at first this may sound controversial and possibly harsh to suggest that you are the cause of your own woes or successes. Surely sometimes things happen to us that are outside of our control?

But look at it like this – the way that you are influences the way you look at things to a massive extent.

What if I was attacked in the street? Am I saying that it was my fault that I got attacked? No not at all, but because of who I am I may have labelled this attack in one way or another and I may have treated the experience in one way or the opposite.

Because of who I am and what I believe, I may have labelled myself as a victim and never left the house again. Or I might have seen this as a challenge to overcome, a reason to take up self-defence or martial arts or a lesson in being more careful.

Equally, what if someone at work is walking all over me? It's me that is allowing that to happen isn't it? By putting up with it, by being seen as a character who allows that sort of thing to be done to me.

Think of some awful event from the past – did you choose to grow from it no matter what or did you choose to allow it to be a terrible thing that has held you back.

I am not saying that you are responsible for other people's actions – indeed that is one of many things that we can't control.

My point is that in life our character defines what we make of things, how we respond to events and what we choose to do when we are treated unfairly or things happen to us that we would rather did not.

Choose the language you use to respond to events wisely and you choose to control the events in your life.